All I Want For Christmas - OtaYuri Christmas Special
by xMidnight'sLullaby
Summary: Otabek and Yuri's friendship in the past few months was...difficult. During the past two years, it had already changed a lot, but now... Since the Grand Prix Gala, the Russian just doesn't want to leave Otabek's head anymore. The fact that they had nearly kissed doesn't really help at all. But when he wants to call Yuri on Christmas Eve, he doesn't pick up...


"Darling, what's up with you? You don't seem to look forward to Christmas at all", Otabek's mother asked him after dinner on the 24th December.

The skater looked up to her and noticed that the rest of his family had already left the table, so he and his mother were alone in the kitchen.

"I still can't get used to this," he answered truthfully.

Christmas wasn't a holiday in Kazakhstan. Instead, people celebrated the New Year. But since his younger sister Amina had been in the USA for a year, she insisted on exchanging the first smaller presents on the 25th. She had been falling in love with the American way of celebrating this holiday instantly, so she tried to add it to their daily life every time she saw the opportunity to do so. Their father hadn't been too happy about it as he was quite a traditional man, but their mom had offered to at least adopt a few smaller customs from overseas – much to the joy of Otabek's smallest sister Halila. In the opinion of the 4-year-old, every day on which she got presents, was a good day, so she didn't mind the double distribution at all.

"Yes, it's still quite odd, isn't it. But that's not all, honey, is it? I can see you somewhere else with your thoughts. Do you want to talk about it?"

Otabek smiled. This was so like his mom. While everyone else didn't notice a change in him as he usually was a more quiet person, his mother sensed the slightest differences and knew instantly, if something was bothering him. And there actually was something that was troubling him – or rather somebody. For two and a half week now, his thoughts were circling about this one person, no matter how hard he tried to distract himself. He had been thinking about him for a long time, but since the Grand Prix Gala, Yuri just didn't want to leave his head.

While most people probably thought that he had been in love with the Russian Fairy since he saw him the first time, Otabek had just been fascinated by that young boy that was so determined and passionate at the same time. He also hadn't fallen in love with him in Barcelona where they had met again. He had really wanted to be just friends. Even today, he still was fascinated by Yuri who had the same gaze than seven years ago and he had wanted to get to know him better. Over the last two years, their friendship had strengthened a lot. Otabek had found out that Yuri was the first and only one he really felt comfortable with – no matter if they were talking, staying silent or sitting next to each other while watching a movie. Yuri seemed to understand that there was a lot more behind the quiet and stoic facade the Kazakh carried around. Sometimes, Otabek didn't have to explain his behaviour to his friend, the other one just understood. At the same time, Yuri started opening up to him. Over time, he got to know more and more sides of the Russian that made his fascination grow even more. To know that he was one of the few people that knew his softer and vulnerable sides as well, made him feel proud. It felt like a tiny firefly that lighted his stomach spreading a little pinch of warmth through him. Since then, more and more fireflies had started living inside him and every time he was with Yuri, they reacted to him, buzzing around in body. It had taken quite a while for Otabek to realize that these animal didn't represent his admiration nor his fascination, but his affection towards the younger skater. It wasn't only friendship he felt for Yuri, it was love.

"It's just…there is this person I like and…argh, I don't know. It's difficult, I guess."

His mother smiled softly.

"It's about this boy, you've been texting the whole time, isn't it? Yuri's his name – the Russian Fairy?"

"How do you…I…" Otabek was stunned. How did his mother know about his feelings for Yuri? She knew that they were friends and were texting or calling each other regularly, but how did she found out about his true feelings? But aside from that, there was one thing that was even worse. The Kazakh still hadn't told his parents that he liked both – girls and boys. The only long relationship he had had before had been with a girl, so his parents probably had no idea that he had experience guys, too. Not that he was ashamed to tell them, but as his father could be quite conservative at some points, he had decided not to tell them until he dated someone that was worth going through the trouble of telling them.

"You always have a certain look when he texts you. You look a lot happier than usual, sometimes you even smile – you've never done that before. And your eyes start shining like stars when you talk about him, so I just figured out that you like him a lot. But don't worry, I don't think that Mina or Lila have noticed something. Mina would probably have mocked you, if she knew."

Otabek nodded. He wasn't worried about his sisters. Amina was open enough to not judge him and Halila was still too small to understand the wider range. His father, however,…

"You don't need to worry, honey. I talked to your father and we have no problem with you liking that boy. You are still the same and we still love you."

"You talked to dad…?"

"Of course I did. I wanted to know if he noticed those changes in you, too, but it seems that he is totally insensitive when it comes to such things. Anyways, we both don't care who you're in love with as long as this person treats you well."

"So…you don't…"

"No! We love you, Otabek, and we want you to be happy. And if that'll be with Yuri, that's more than fine for me and your father."

The skater was touched by his mother's words and instantly felt a heavy weight lift from his chest. He loved his family and he had no idea what he should have done if they had a problem with his future partner. Otabek gulped. It was nice that his family would be okay with him dating Yuri, but what was the blonde skater thinking about that? Their relationship in last months had been…difficult.

They had been texting and calling each other a lot more than before. Sometimes, when Otabek couldn't sleep, he texted Yuri, just to see if he still was awake and most of the times he was. After exchanging one or two messaged, they usually called each other, because it was more comfortable to lay in bed and just listen to the other's voice. Otabek always closed is his eyes, so it was easier to concentrate on Yuri. He loved his calm whispers close to his ear. Every time Yuri said "Hey", it gave him chills. In those nights, they talked about a lot of things – about what had happened that day, about things that bothered them, about their future after skating. Sometimes, Yuri talked a lot, complaining about the people around him. Mostly Viktor and Yuuri. Sometimes, he didn't say much, listening silently to Otabek's words. Especially in these nights, the Kazakh would have loved to really know what was on his mind, what worried him so much that he didn't seem like himself. But he didn't dare to ask. He was afraid that this could be too much and would unsettle their relationship. The strong desire to pull Yuri close and to hold him tight was more present times than ever. The Russian, however, never texted him when he was so full of thoughts that he couldn't find a rest. He never contacted him when he really wanted to talk. He always waited for the older skater to start the conversation. It had taken months for Otabek to finally find that out.

"You are very quiet today. Is everything alright?"

"Hm…"

"If I bug you, you can end the call, you know."

"Hm…"

Otabek sighed. "Yuri…"

"I don't want to talk about it, okay? Why can't you just leave me alone."

"Okay, if you don't want to talk to me, I will just hang up. Good ni…"

"Wait…"

The Kazakh didn't dare to end the call now. His whole body tensed, nervous and excited at the same time of what would happen next.

"Please...don't…"

It was silent for quite some time. Otabek could just hear Yuri's unsteady breath through his headphones. He knew that something was up. He knew that he had to suppress the urge to ask, but it caused him too much pain to know that there was something wrong with his friend. He took a deep breath and tried to gather all his courage.

"It's okay if you don't want to talk. You don't need to. But let me just ask something, okay?"

"…Hm…"

"If you needed somebody to distract you, why didn't you just ask me to call you?"

Waiting for Yuri's answer was probably the most nerve-wrecking experience ever. In his mind, he had prepared for everything. Yuri could shout at him or end the call without saying anything. He could tell him that he just didn't want to or that it wasn't for Otabek to know. But what the Russian said, he could have never prepared for. It made his heart glow from the inside and hundreds of little fireflies were flying through his body, leaving an exciting, tingling feeling behind.

"I wanted to write you. Dozens of times I have tapped the message. But I deleted it every time. I don't want to bother you with my problems. I don't want you to think that I'm weak, because I'm troubled by such stupid things."

Otabek did not dare to say something as he felt that this wasn't everything, although it killed him to hear Yuri's slightly shaking voice.

"I know that we are friend and I know that this is stupid, because we have talked about so many things already, but still… You know I'm not good with people. I don't know how normal relationships work. I wanted to talk to you so much about so many things. I wanted to hear your advice. I wanted you to call me childish. Nobody is allowed to judge me this way, but you. All the time, however, I feared that this would be too much. That you didn't want to know that side of me."

The Russian's voice got more and more desperate with every word. " 'It's nice to be friends with that Yuri Plisetsky, but I don't want to hear about his stupid, childish problems. I'm not his parent. He should better grow up soon.' This is what came up in my head when I wanted to text you." For another minute it was silent, until Yuri said the one thing that really broke Otabek's heart. "I just don't know what to do anymore."

It weren't only his words, but the way he had whispered them. Yuri Plisetsky would never ask for help, but in this moment the Kazakh knew that this was what he had really meant.

"It's okay, if you don't want to listen to my problems. I guess, it's better if I go asleep..."

"No! Yuri! You already said, we are friends, aren't we? What kind of friend would I be not to listen to you and try helping you out. I want to know every side of you. Not only the ones you show to the public. Not only the ones you show to your friends. I want to know all the things, nobody knows about you. May they be childish or not. I don't care. Because you are important to me and that's what counts, okay?"

"Hm…"

"So…Tell me! What's up?"

And Yuri told him. He told him about how much pressure he felt on his shoulders – from the public, from his coach and from himself. He told him that he feared being worth nothing without his skating success. Otabek didn't sleep a lot that night, but being a little tired the next day was totally worth staying up and listen to his friend.

Since then, their friendship had deepened even more. Yuri had opened up a lot to him, every day a little more and Otabek felt honoured to be the one, the Ice Tiger had chosen as his confidant. But with every day they got closer to each other, it was harder for him to suppress his feelings. On the other hand, Yuri didn't really make him feel like he had to hide them. Sometimes, he said things that made the Kazakh blush like a beetroot and every time they had met, they had spent most of the time together far away from their fellow skaters. When they had met in November in Helsinki, Yuri had come to his hotel room after dinner. He had knocked at his door so cautiously, Otabek nearly hadn't heard it at all. When he opened the door, the Russian was standing before him and the older skater could see how nervous he was.

"It's still pretty early, isn't it. So I thought… Maybe we could…"

"Yura?"

"I bought this game before I came here, but I had no time to have a look at it so far. Would you like to try it out with me?"

He was talking a lot faster than usual and his face was turned towards the floor, clutching nervously to the console in his hands. Otabek thought that he has never looked any cuter than this. That nervous side of him suited him a lot. Hopefully, nobody besides him would ever be able to see that.

Sure", he had smiled and let the Russian Fairy step in.

The whole evening, they had tried to beat each other up in a Street Fighter like game. The Kazakh hadn't noticed at first, but as time passed, Yuri came closer and closer to him, until he rested his head on the older skater's shoulders. Otabek had tried not to let his nervousness show, but the place where his friend's blond hair touched his skin was tingling and made his hands sweaty.

Not only this evening, but throughout the whole competition, Yuri had been a lot closer to him than usual. He had searched for Otabek's propinquity and the Kazakh would have been the last one to complain about it. Yes, it made him insecure and his whole body was tingling and trembling every time the Russian was close to him. When he touched him, things got even worse – or better, depending on the perspective. The older skater wasn't sure if all the small touches of their hands, the blond boy's hot breath in his neck or his head on his shoulders had been intentional or not. But he didn't mind. Just the slightest contact of their skin had sent shivers and waves of heat through him, reviving the fireflies in his body. They spread their warm and glowing light through his veins and Otabek would have sworn that he was shining like the sun when Yuri grabbed his hand during JJ's points announcement that might have cost him his gold medal.

When they had said good-bye at the airport, Otabek hadn't been able to hold himself back and hugged Yuri. They wouldn't see each other for a month and after being so close for the last few days, he wanted to hold his body close once more. To his great astonishment, the Russian had hugged him back, wrapping his arms tightly around his shoulders. For a second, Otabek had imagined that his friend wanted to say something, but Yuri stayed silent and waved at him after he had passed the security checks. The Kazakh just wanted to turn off his phone after he found his seat in the huge airplane when he got a message from the blonde skater that made his heart skip a beat.

'I'm going to miss you.'

The following days, Otabek had felt his friend's absence a lot more than usual and Yuri had seemed to be the same. Every time he was free, the Kazakh was on his phone, texting his friend who immediately replied most of the time. They called each other every night and even if they just talked for an hour, Otabek couldn't fall asleep anymore, if he hadn't heard Yuri's voice that day. Sometimes, he had felt really stupid for falling more and more in love with his friend without even knowing, if he shared his feelings. But with every message, with every picture and every small word Yuri sent him, the amazing, tingling warmth filled his body and he couldn't stop smiling.

Otabek had counted the days until the Grand Prix Finale, because that had meant for him to finally see Yuri again. His flight had been delayed and it had taken ages to get his luggage, but the thought of touching the Russian again and to hold him in his arms made him get through all of this without being stressed out. He stepped into the visitors area of the airport as fast as he could, nearly running towards the exits to hop into the next cab and get to the hotel where Yuri was probably sleeping his jet lack off. Something, however, stopped his run. A familiar voice behind him had called his name. Otabek had just enough time to turn around when someone threw himself into his arms. He needed a second to realize that it was Yuri who had been waiting for him to arrive. As soon as he recognized him, he pulled his friend even closer to his body, burying his nose in the blond hair. He closed his eyes and took in the Russian's scent. How had he been able to live a month without that? After a while, they moved apart a little and Otabek could finally look into the most beautiful face he had ever seen. Yuri's eyes were shining like stars, although he seemed to be a little tired.

"Yuri", he whispered and stroked a strain of hair out of his friend's face. "It's so good to see you again."

Instead of answering, the blond skater smiled at him.

"But…why are you here? Shouldn't you be resting after your long flight?"

Yuri rolled his eyes and turned towards the exit, Otabek following him waiting for his reply. "I sneaked out of the hotel. I…", he turned away his face, so the Kazakh couldn't see anything of him, but his ears that flushed deeply red. "I couldn't wait to see you and I didn't want to miss your arrival just because I was sleeping. I thought it was a better idea to fetch you up. I know that this was stupid."

Once again, the fireflies in Otabek's stomach came to life and he had a hard time controlling his shaking hands while his heart was pounding heavily against his chest. "It's not stupid", he stopped and reached out his hand to turn Yuri towards him on his shoulder, "I couldn't wait to see you again, too."

The following days had passed in the blink of an eye and Otabek didn't remember a lot of the competition. He remembered a lot of other things. He remembered Yuri falling asleep next to him in the cab. He remembered them strolling through the streets of Vancouver. He didn't remember when they had started holding hands, but he could still feel the touch of the Russian's delicate fingers intertwined with his own. He remembered what it felt like standing close to his friend on the podium – he with bronze and the younger skater with silver – and when he closed his eyes, he still felt Yuri's hot breath on his lips.

Yes, they had nearly kissed at the Gala and although he was a very peaceful person, Otabek would love to kill Chris for interrupting them. They had gone outside to cool down a little and to spent some time together, away from the loud crowd inside. Both of them had known that this would be their last moments together. The next day, they would return home and not be able to see each other again for months. Strolling around the small snow-covered park in the back of the party location, they walked in silence, but their hands were touching with every step. Suddenly, Yuri had stopped and turned his head towards the sky.

"There are beautiful, aren't they?"

"Yes," Otabek answered, but he didn't mean the stars.

He couldn't turn his gaze away from Yuri's face that was only lighted by the moon. His white skin looked like porcelain and his features were so delicate, the Kazakh feared he would shattered under the slightest touch. His heart was pounding so heavily against his chest, he was sure that the Russian would hear it. And suddenly, he couldn't hold himself back. He didn't care about their friendship anymore. The last days, no the last months, hadn't felt like friendship – it had been a lot more. The blond skater turned to him again and when their eyes met, Otabek knew that Yuri felt the same way. He stroke back a strain of blond hair and rested his hand on the other's cheek. Slowly, they had come closer and closer until he could feel the Russian's breath on his lips and his trembling hand on his chest. Just a millimetre had separated them, when suddenly someone was running into their direction, laughing like a maniac. Chris who only wearing his pants nearly ran into them. He smelled of alcohol and his was giggling like a school girl.

"What are you guys doing here?", he slurred, "you are missing this year's dance-off!"

He took their hands and dragged them back to the party. The rest of the night, they were exchanging glances through the whole room. But both did not dare to get close again.

Since then, they had returned to their usual contact routine. It seemed like nothing had happened. But every time Otabek remembered that night, he wanted to hit his head against a wall. So close, they had been so close. Not only, that he had missed this chance, he feared how things would be like when they met again in a few months. Would they start off where they had stopped in Canada or would Yuri think of them differently, if he had enough time to think everything through? What did he think about them now? Had he wanted to kiss Otabek, too, or had he been going with the flow? Did he have any feelings for him? What were they? Friends? Lovers? Something in between?

"Don't think about it too much, honey. I'm sure everything will fall into place," his mother said ruffling his hair. "And now go to you sisters. I bet they are waiting for you to watch 'Home Alone' with them."

When Otabek got up, he had to hug his mother for a second, because he was so thankful for her words and relieved that she didn't care who he loved. He walked into the living room where his sisters were already sitting on the couch, waiting for him to join them.

"What did you take so long?", Mina asked curiously.

"I just had to talk to mom about some things."

"What things?", his sister wanted to know, but before Otabek could answer, Lila interrupted them.

"Nobody cares! I want to watch that movie now!"

"But I care…", Amina started, but she realized that it would be no good arguing with the youngest of them. She threw another examining look at the Kazakh and turned on the DVD.

Otabek didn't sleep a lot that night. He had tried to, but Yuri kept appearing in his head every time he closed his eyes. When he texted his friend around 2 am, he hoped that he was awake, too. Maybe he could ask him what he thought about them. If he felt the same way. If he wanted to turn back time to that moment at the Gala as much as Otabek wanted. But this was probably a stupid idea. Talking about this on the phone would be just weird. The Kazakh wanted to look into Yuri's eyes when he told him that he fell in love with him. He wanted to see his reaction. But while he was still arguing with himself, Yuri didn't answer him. For one and a half hour, Otabek waited for him to reply, but no message came back. After quite some time, he finally fell into a dreamless sleep.

He hadn't slept a lot when he was woken up the next morning by his little sister. She came running into his room, shaking him awake excitedly.

"Wake up, Beka! Wake up!"

Otabek opened one eye and looked at his alarm clock. 8 am. He had been sleeping for about 4 hours.

Lila, please: let me sleep", he grumbled and tried to hide under his blanket, but his sister had been prepared.

She took the corner of the blanket and pulled it down. Now, the Kazakh regretted sleeping with an open window wearing nothing but boxer shorts. The icy December air on his bare skin made him shiver and he had no choice, but to get up if he didn't want to die from the cold. "You're a monster, Lila," he muttered while picking up his cloths.

"Mami said that I'm only allowed to open my presents after we all had breakfast together."

Otabek was sure that, if he told his mother that he rather slept for a few more hours, she would have been fine with that, but he knew that it was no good arguing with his sister when it came to presents. If he didn't love her so much, he would already have killed her several times. Suddenly, Otabek smiled. Killing people – that was more Yuri's thing. Interesting how much influence the younger boy had on him.

After a long hot shower, the Kazakh walked downstairs to meet his family waiting for him at the breakfast table.

"You don't seem like you got a lot of sleep last night. Is everything okay?" Otabek's father looked at him worryingly.

"No, I just couldn't sleep."

"Too busy thinking about your lover?", Mina smirked.

The Kazakh looked at her first, then to his mother and back to his sister.

"Lover?"

"So that someone you always text with is 'just a friend', hm?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Otabek answered. He wasn't really keen on discussing his relationship with Yuri in front of everybody.

He loved his sister as much as Halila, but he didn't have the nerve to be mocked by her, when he himself wasn't sure about their relationship. But the universe seemed to be against him, because right in this moment, his phone rang and without thinking, Otabek took it out to read the message from his friend. 'Sorry about last night. I was already sleeping. Maybe we can talk later.'

"So this someone is just a friend, hm?"

"Is this really necessary, Mina?", Otabek's mother stepped in.

"Why? He really needs a lover. The last time is already way too long ago. Just took at him, he could really…"

A strict look from Otabek made her stopped talking, but the smirk on her face wouldn't fade.

"What's a lover, Mom?", Lila asked, being totally confused by the conversation.

"I'll explain it to you later, okay darling? You should better eat up now or you won't get your presents."

Until noon, Otabek hadn't heard anything else from Yuri and he started worrying. It probably was nothing, but in his head, the Kazakh feared that something could have happened to his friend. 'He's probably just busy', he had to remind himself more than once. The Russian had planned to spent the holidays and the New Year with his grandfather in Moscow. He hadn't seen him for months, so he surely had a lot to tell him. Of course, he wouldn't be clinching to his phone if he was with his granddad. He was very close to him, so Otabek understood that this was more important to Yuri than him. On the other side, however, he was impatiently waiting for a text and every time he checked his phone, he scolded himself for being so depended and so deeply in love. 'Maybe I should try enjoying the time with my family, too,' he thought. He got up from his bed and knocked at his sisters' doors.

"Wanna go outside?"

The three of them had a good time in the backyard of their house having snowball fights and the competition of the most beautiful snowman. They played in the snow until they didn't feel their feet anymore, so they returned inside and warmed themselves at the heater, drinking hot chocolate their mother had made them. Otabek enjoyed spending time with his sisters. Since he was usually very busy flying around the globe and compete, he didn't see them a lot, but whenever he was free, it was nice returning home and feeling that nothing had changed. Like when they were younger, Mina leant against his shoulder telling him about her current plans when she'd finish school and Lila scrambled onto his lap narrating all the adventures she had experienced in kindergarten lately. It felt great listening to his sisters, but deep inside, he wished that Yuri was with him, too. He tried to shove that thought in the back of his mind and focus on the people that were around him now. After some hours, however, he couldn't restrain himself anymore. He excused himself and returned to his room where he lied down on his bed and dialled Yuri's number. He only had to press the green button, but he was insecure. He didn't want to keep the Russian from spending time with his grandfather. But the wish to hear is voice, even for a few seconds, was so strong, he closed his eyes and tabbed the button. He heard the familiar sound and counted. One, two, three, four…. Yuri usually took calls after the fourth sound. If he didn't expect it, however, he needed six. Five, six, seven…."The number you called is currently not available. Please try…" Otabek ended the call and threw his phone against the mattress. He knew that Yuri was busy. He had just said 'talk later', but not any specific time. Why did this bother him so much?

He hadn't much time to think about his frustration, when he heard the doorbell rang. A few moments later, his mother called him from downstairs. Otabek wasn't motivated at all to walk down. He wasn't interested in who wanted to see him. He wanted to lay here and think about his way too strong feelings for Yuri. But he was a good son and he didn't want his mother to call him a second time, so he got up and scuffed down.

"Who is…", he started to say when he reached the last step, but the words got stuck in his throat.

"Merry Christmas, Beka!", a well-known blond skater said shyly, waving at him. For a second, Otabek couldn't realize what was going on. How could he…? Why was he...? His good reason wanted him to say something, but his body moved on his own. Without hesitation, walked towards Yuri, reaching out for the back of his head, clawing his finger into his soft hair and pulled him close. They moment their lips finally touched, the Kazakh noticed thousands of little fireflies swarming through his body, spreading light and warmth to the smallest vein. He was sure that there wouldn't be any better feeling in the whole world, when Yuri returned, no, even intensified their kiss by wrapping his arms around Otabek's neck to pull him even closer. His tongue gently caressed the Kazakh's lips and the latter opened them.

"Is this Beka's lover, mom?", he heard Lila ask and suddenly, he was brought back to present and drew back a little, just to look into Yuri's slightly blushed, but widely smiling face.

"Yeah, good question, Lila. Is this Beka's lover?"

Even though he didn't want to look away, Otabek turned around and saw his sisters standing on the stair case watching him closely.

"I…." How should he say anything? He had no idea what Yuri was thinking. He didn't even know why he was here. So instead of saying anything, he took the Russian's hand and pulled him up the stairs, passing by his curious sisters, right into his room closing the door behind them as fast as he could.

With shaking legs, Otabek leant against the door and tried to calm his heavily beating heart. What had he done? He had kissed Yuri without thinking about it. When he saw him standing in their hallway, he just couldn't hold back. His feet had moved on their own. Not that he hadn't liked it. It had felt better than anything else he had experienced so far. His whole body was still out of control, only because of those few seconds. He turned towards Yuri who was standing in the middle of his room, letting his eyes wander around nervously. His right arm was holding onto his left elbow scratching his skin until it was red. It was just now that Otabek noticed that his right hand was bandaged. Instantly, he forgot about his rash behaviour and walked towards his friend. He cautiously took his hand and fondled the skin under the bandaged without really touching it. He didn't want to cause Yuri any pain.

"What happened to your hand?", he asked calmly, but he couldn't hide his worries at all.

"It's nothing…I was just stupid. Didn't take care and burned myself at the hot pot on the stove."

Otabek didn't know what to reply, so he did the only thing that came to his mind. He brought Yuri's hand to his lips and placed a soft kiss on it. The Russian blushed deeply red and turned his face sidewards in order to not have to look into the Kazakh's eyes.

One question suddenly popped up in Otabek's head and he really wanted to know the answer. But would Yuri tell him? Right now, he didn't look like he would say anything that could embarrass him even more. Maybe, the Kazakh had to make smaller steps in order to reach him. He made one step forward to stand right in front of the Russian who still tried to hide his face. The sudden urge to look into his beautiful turquoise eyes fell over Otabek. He softly placed his finger below Yuri's chin and softly turned his face, so he had to look at him. When their eyes met, however, the blond skater tried to free himself again.

"Yura, please….Look at me." Otabek's voice was a lot more silent than he had expected and it slightly trembled, although he tried to cover his nervousness with all his power. For a second, Yuri seemed to argue with himself, but finally, he followed the Kazakh's request. He looked even more nervous than Otabek felt like. There were so many things to read from his eyes – happiness, but fear; excitement, yet nervousness; love, but insecurity. Although this one question was impatiently waiting on his tongue, Otabek knew it was no use asking his friend now. He would only back down. He had to make him fell comfortable first. He had to show that he was more than happy to see him here. The Kazakh let his hand wander softly from Yuri's chin, along his jaw bone, down his neck. He fondled the sensitive skin between his neck and his collar bone and when the Russian started to relax a bit, Otabek wrapped his arms around him and pull him close to his chest. He didn't mind that Yuri could hear and feel his pounding heart that way. He should know that he was as nervous and as excited as him. Much to his joy, the Russian returned the hug and buried his fingers in Otabek's shoulder blades. The Kazakh placed a soft his on his head before he started to speak.

"I can't tell you how glad I am to have you here. I thought we wouldn't be able to meet until January or February. Since the Gala, I couldn't get you out of my mind. Even before that…"

He stopped. The room was only filled by the sound of their breaths. Otabek could feel Yuri trembling in his arms and how he clinched even more to him.

"I hate this", the Russian suddenly whispered. "I hate this and I love it at the same time. For months, I couldn't stop thinking of you and I hate it. I'm not feeling like myself, I don't know what to do. I want to be my usual, irritated self, but every time you send me a message I start smiling. I'm getting softer just because of you and I don't know how to handle it."

He paused for a minute and Otabek used this break to place more soft kisses on his hair.

"You've been the first person I loved talking to aside from my grandfather. You were the first one I could really open up to. You helped to clear my mind, but at the same time, you made me all confused. Sometimes, my head was so full of you, I couldn't concentrate. And everything got worse since that stupid Gala. Just remembering that you nearly… If I see Chris ever again, he will die the most painful death. Since then, you've always been on my mind. I couldn't think of anything else. I even tried to carry a hot pan without a potholder. That's how I injured my hand."

Although he was still worried about Yuri's hand, Otabek couldn't stop smiling.

"I felt exactly the same. Every time I heard your ring tone, I had to check your message. I was so careless that my mom noticed."

"My grandfather did, too. You have no idea how embarrassing it was to talk to him about you. It because of him that I'm here, too."

"Your grandfather? How come?"

"He told me that he had noticed that something had been on my mind as soon as I stepped into his house. He forced me to tell him using his stupid grandfather-skills. He listened to me the whole time and in the end, he just said that I should fly here to tell you properly. 'You need to tell him or you will hurt yourself even more, Yurochka. And no, you won't call him. That isn't something you talk about on the phone. Let's check when there's a flight to Almaty.' That's what he said. I didn't even have time to say no. I didn't want to unexpectedly drop in on you, but I wanted to see you so much, I… "

Yuri stopped again and Otabek could see that is ears turned slightly red. This was enough for him. He didn't want to force the younger skater even more. Now it was time for him to tell his friend all the things he had been afraid of. He eased the tight hug a little, to be able to look into Yuri's eyes.

"I'm in love with you, Yura."

For a second, Yuri looked like he was unable to move. Otabek could see his brain working, trying to process what he had just said. And then, the realisation spread through his whole body. The most beautiful smile formed on his face and his turquoise eyes started shining like diamonds. He got to his tiptoes and wrapped his arms around the Kazakh's neck. Then, he pulled him close and softly placed his lips on the other's. Their kiss didn't last long, but it was enough for the small fireflies in Otabek's stomach to set his whole body on fire. Any second, he thought, he had to start going up in flames. But if he died now, he wouldn't care, because this moment was just perfect. Well, at least he thought so until Yuri ended their kiss and rested his head on Otabek's shoulders. Hardly audible, he whispered something into his ears. This small sentence was everything the Kazakh had longed to hear for months. Maybe, celebrating Christmas wasn't that stupid at all.

"I'm in love with you, too, Beka."


End file.
